Stux With Obama net Virus

[Originally posted on IMAO.us]

So the latest polls are showing that Romney and Obama are “neck and neck”. Ignoring how ridiculous it sounds for those two guys to be necking, it seems quite ridiculous to me that this could even be the case.

I mean, Obama is like the worst president ever, in the history of everything. Even Jimmy Carter wasn’t as bad as Obama, if only because Carter couldn’t get away with as much crap as Obama can in the new progressive era. And by new progressive era, I mean an era where people are willing to ignore how bad things are if they get some free stuff.

It took generations to get people to this point where they are so willfully ignorant of what happens when a government trades your very freedom for some free stuff. And that free stuff isn’t even that good. I mean…food stamps? You won’t be eating high off the hog with those. And welfare and unemployment aren’t really great paychecks.

And does anyone really want to put their health in the hands of Medcaid? Where you get government-prescribed treatment and no second opinons? Do so many people actually choose this way to live? I’m not so sure.

I’m a big time fan of America. I’m such a fan, I even served in two branches of the military. Ok, yeah, they let me play with really cool weapons, so that was probably the number one reason. But still, I am a big fan of America. And as a fan, I refuse to believe that something close to 50 percent of my fellow Americans are either idiots or nincompoops. Because that is what these polls suggest. Is there any questions that Obama has been a horrible president? I’d love to hear an actual argument to the contrary.

You won’t hear such an argument out of the left…they are too busy telling us that Romney commits murder-cancer and Ryan likes to throw old people off of cliffs to actually defend their own president’s record.

So what’s the deal? I have a theory! And it has nothing to do with shady pollsters, because there are some pretty good pollsters giving the same results. My theory is that there is a new computer virus on the loose. Created by the left. What this virus does is infect computers that it targets, specifically those of pollsters, and confuses their mathematics capabilities.

Who better to create such a virus than people who can’t even do simple addition and subtraction. Like, if you take money from business owners, they will have more money to hire more people. Only the left could get that result. Or, if we spend more, we will reduce the deficit. Again, only leftist mathematics can prove that theory.

I think I am on to something here. This is the only way polls can be telling us that there are as many people willing to reelect the worst president in history over an inanimate carbon rod, much less a former governor and businessman in an economic recession. I think it goes something like this:

Pollster: “Hello, I would like to ask you if you are planning to vote for Obama or Romney?”
Sample Person 1: “Obama? Obama!?! Are you kidding me? That guy is a complete stuttering catastrophe of a miserable failure. I am voting Romney!”
Polling computer: IF mention obama THEN add=1 vote for obama.
Sample Person #2: “I wish Obama would self-exile himself. I am voting Romney.”
Polling computer: add=2 vote for obama.
Sample Person #3: “I like unicorns.”
Polling Computer: IF mention unicorns THEN add=256 vote for obama.

I don’t know for sure if this is true, but this might be a sample of leftist logic in virus form. I call it the stuxwithobamanet virus.