Friday, March 22, 2013

Komrade Michelle Leads Glorious Nation's Youth in Healthy Revolution

Chicago, IL (NPN State News Service) - The picturesque scene at the McCormick Place convention center in Chicago was one of true patriotism and revolution as the Dear Leader's glorious and most beautiful wife, Comrade Michelle led our great nation's youth in a new revolution against being a fat and lazy citizen. In an effort to mark the occasion, these young revolutionary comrades starved themselves for many hours in protest of evil greedy capitalist excess.

Said one young revolutionary, Comrade Kevin Archer a 3rd grader at Novak King Elementary School, "I do this for the revolution and to stop being fat. No good citizen should be fat. Being fat is being a capitalist traitor. I am feeling a bit sick now though."

Our brave police forces helping out.
Many of these brave youth were near fainting when Comrade Michelle made her appearance after hours of waiting for the beginning of these glorious festivities. In an effort to keep our young comrades from failing in their duties, blessed members of our revolutionary police forces helped prop up our young heroes. Not a one of these brave children left their post during the ceremony as our brave police forces kept them from falling over with the butt of their rifles.

Comrade Michelle gives a powerful speech.


As Comrade Michelle delicately floated across the stage to deliver her speech, the young revolutionaries cheered as the band played our national anthem. Before speaking, a great and glorious image of our Dear Leader was gently lowered from above the stage so that all may bask in his wonder and salute the savior of our great and glorious nation. Some of the young revolutionaries, weak from hunger, were helped to salute by our brave police forces.

Comrade Michelle looked out over the glorious future of our glorious nation and said "You, comrades, are the future of our glorious nation! You are showing the rest of our comrades how to live in a patriotic way, without food and excess. It is you who will continue the revolution and destroy the capitalist fatties!"

Comrade Michelle's speech lasted for an hour and was followed by many glorious celebrities and athletes praising the Dear Leader and decrying the evils of eating food and becoming fat like a traitorous capitalist.

Our Dear Leader
One NBA basketball player said "I didn't get to where I am today by eating food. I did it through hard work and exercise. I did it through using government programs and not through capitalism. I am where I am today by not eating and through the glorious graces of our Dear Leader, Barrack Obama!"

This was met by great cheers from the youth, as directed by our brave police forces.

The event climaxed in a spirited chant of "No Food! Let's Move!" and then ended with another basking of and saluting the glorious countenance of our Glorious Dear Leader atop a white stallion holding the world within his fist.

After the event, one of the teachers who had helped bring these young revolutionaries to the event was heard saying "Yeah let's move...because there's no food!" The unidentified teacher was last seen chatting with our brave police forces.


[Cross posted at IMAO]





1 comment:

  1. I can't believe you posted this. I was THERE and I was gonna write about it. :(

    ReplyDelete