Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Nuke the Punchline: Declared Crime Racist

Harvey over at IMAO has another straight line of the day up, and so it is time to pick the winners of the last one:

In response to rising crime rates, Oakland, California...


#5 Rodney Dill: ...put up signs declaring it a CRIME FREE ZONE.

#4 Apostic: ...will be nuked from orbit. (It’s the only way to be sure.)

#3 Plentyobailouts: ...changed their signs to say “Welcome to Detroit”.

#2 Dohtimes: ...lowered the rate by pardoning Ricky Henderson if he promised to return all those bases.

And my favorite line goes to walruskkkch:

In resposne to rising crime rates, Oakland, California hired more cops, toughened their 3 strike laws, expanded their prison system and voted to ask for the renewal of the death penalty. Then Bobby Ewing walked out of the shower.

lol...Congratulations to walruskkkch.

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The best punchline for the last Nuking Politics straight line was from Harvey: 

On response to a possible North Korean missile launch Wednesday, the White House plans...Wait... I don't understand how the last four words of that straight line make any sense... :-D


Ahh, touche Harvey, touche.

_______________

And here's a line for you guys to fiddle with:

The White House plans to intercept a North Korean missile with...
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11 comments:

  1. Rodney DillApril 9, 2013 at 10:17 PM

    Malarky

    ReplyDelete
  2. Bob in FeenicksApril 10, 2013 at 2:22 AM

    ...Arec Bardwin.

    ...a rape whistle and then urinating on North Korea.

    ReplyDelete
  3. HarveyApril 10, 2013 at 2:53 AM

    .Wait... I don't understand how the first four words of that straight line make any sense... :-D

    ReplyDelete
  4. Bob in FeenicksApril 10, 2013 at 4:39 AM

    ...their version of Chuck Norris: John Kerry!

    ReplyDelete
  5. HokieGomerApril 10, 2013 at 6:56 AM

    ...a herring. Hey, it worked for the King of England.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Rodney DillApril 10, 2013 at 8:09 AM

    It'll be a Psy Op.... Dancing Gangnam style.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Rodney DillApril 10, 2013 at 8:13 AM

    ...by taunting them... "You stupid North Korean pot belly pig dogs. Your mother was a Chinese Striped Hamster and your father smelt of Kimchi."

    ReplyDelete
  8. JamesApril 10, 2013 at 8:29 AM

    @Rodney Lay off the kimchi or you will be farting in their general direction.

    ReplyDelete
  9. A Guy Named RobApril 10, 2013 at 9:13 AM

    ...with a bigger American missile, named Ron Jeremy

    ReplyDelete
  10. A Guy Named RobApril 10, 2013 at 9:17 AM

    By trading Michelle and a future conditional draft pick to the Jets for Darrelle Revis, and putting North Korea on "Revis Island"

    ReplyDelete
  11. DohtimesApril 10, 2013 at 1:44 PM

    ...the Pacific Ocean. Odds are it will work, but still, that's all they have so far.

    ReplyDelete

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