[From the Nuking Politics Archives: For Explosive Opportunities, Apply Within originally posted August 15, 2012.]
Some jokes just write themselves. THIS is one of them.
I really wonder what the interview process is like.
(Interior, half cave, half office. Somewhere in the Middle East)
Mohamed1: “um well, first of all death to America. Would you please take a seat”?
Mohamed2: “Death to America and, yes, of course”.
M1: “So, ahhhhhh (looks at resume) Mohamed”?
M2: “yes, Mohamed Mohamed”.
M1: “any relation to the west bank Mohameds”?
M2: “Distant cousins, but yes”.
M1: “Good, good, I like it. Why don’t you tell me a little about yourself”?
M2: “Well, I’m 35 years old; I have 3 wives and 12 children”.
M1: “Oh good, you subjugate women just like the rest of us here”.
M2: “Yes I do. I think the only people better at subjugating women than me is your average gangsta rapper. Of course that is infidel music, so I wouldn’t know anything about that”.
M1: “me either. So let me ask you. What would you say is your biggest strength”?
M2: “well, that’s a hard one. I think maybe I would have to say my hatred for America and other infidels. That may be a bit of a cop out answer, but I think it works. I mean really, we are all in the infidel hating business… ‘em I right (starts laughing and elbow nudging the interviewer)
M1: “yes yes that is right, I have to say it’s a good answer, and the one I was looking for”. Next question; what is your biggest weakness”?
M2: “Hmmmmm this one is easy. I have a hard time hating the Gays”.
M1: “Excuse me”?
M2: “Don’t get me wrong. I hate them, I just don’t know about hating them enough to kill them. Also, I think I care too much. Not about the gays, but about my wives”.
M1: “Of course, you defiantly wouldn't be saying that because of repressed feelings that you're trying to suppress therefore having multiple wives. That makes perfect sense. Well, thank you for coming in, I can’t say you got the job yet, but you are at the front of the list. I have a few more people to interview. I will be in touch”.
M2: “awesome, is this one of those don’t call us we’ll call you type things… or do you want me to call next week”?
M1: give us a call next week on Tuesday; I will let you know your status. We have a lot of positions to fill, and because of this whole suicide thing we keep having to fill them”.
M2: “well that’s just great; I look forward to dying for a ridicules cause”.
M1: “other than death to America. I’m not sure what the cause is? Anyway,,, death to America”. See you later alligator”.
M2: “Death to America, and after while crocodile!”
---walkingdead
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