Classic Nuke - Helium, the Next Great War

[From the Nuking Politics Archives: Helium, the Next Great War originally posted August 28, 2012.]


In the next 2-3 years after supreme leader Barack H. Obama wins reelection handily. Thanks to the millions and millions of dead people and illegal immigrants voting for him.  Our national energy needs will be fixed by cheap solar and wind power.  It’s no secret that this is one of his main causes, and we applaud him for it.  This is why I want to take a minute and bring up our next national crisis, the helium shortage.

 This helium shortage is just more proof of republican obstructionism, if not racism… or even worse racstructionism!  Helium is one of the two most abundant gases in the universe yet we have a shortage here in these United States.

Even though most benevolent grand leader Obama will have made peace throughout the world. With his smooth words that come out of his talking hole, the helium crisis will spark a new war, a global war; some would say… a world war.

Those some are me, because after all this is just a prediction of things to come. 

The question you have to ask yourself when you go in to that voting booth on election day,  is do you want a president like Obama who would let one of the most abundant resources in the universe go scarce?  Or do you want Romney who would mine the moons of Jupiter to make sure we had our basic necessities like floating balloons?

Thousands will die in Obama’s crusade to find cheap helium in some backwards country.  He’s already proved over and over again that he’s a war monger.  Just ask code pink.  Romney on the other hand will take the right steps to make sure that our helium reserves will be tapped properly, and if all else fails, send Michael Bay and Bruce Willis with a drill team to tap an asteroid. 

Now that’s leadership.

Your choice is clear America.

--- walkingdead