Give Me an E! Give Me a P! Give Me an A! What Does That Spell? Couldn't Tell You. I Went to Public School.

OK, now things are just getting silly.  The EPA is targeting me now.  What has happened to my freedom to pollute my land as I see fit?  Might one of these be the cause:

·         Apparently I’m not allowed to compost those half dozen hobos that used to be shackled in my crawlspace.

·         My hellions keep running the AC with the windows open.

·         The by-products of my genetic experiments have to be properly disposed of as biohazardous wastes.  Apparently consumption at a neighborhood BBQ isn’t good enough.

·         They are concerned that I fertilize my garden with my expired prescriptions.

·         My controlled refuse burning sometimes includes my neighbors’ cats.

·         My hepatitis C mutated, anthropomorphized and was reportedly seen stalking the local children.

·         My controlled refuse burning sometimes includes my expired ‘prescriptions.’  (It makes for a really interesting smore party).

·         My hepatitis was later seen meeting a yeast infection at a seedy motel with a crate of petri dishes. Offspring are feared. 

·         They frown upon my practice of weaving my own cloth from discarded asbestos.

·         They don’t approve of the lead bodypaint we use to protect ourselves from Obama’s mind control transmissions.

·         They just need someone to crucify like when the Romans come to town.

[Cross posted at IMAO]