Monday, July 8, 2013

Nuke the Punchline - Cheap Money! What's Not to LIKE?

Harvey over at IMAO has posted a new straight line of the day, so it is time to choose the winners of the last one:

State Department Officials Spent $630,000 to Get More Facebook “Likes”. Other Recent Expenditures…


#5 walruskkkch: $1.3 billion to buy the approval of the Morsi regime in Egypt. Ooops.

#4 Jeff in South Dakota : $1.3 billion on secret de-coder rings so messages to each other won’t be read be those sneaky pests over at the NSA.

#3 Fangbeer : 2.6 million worth of Greyhound buses to throw people under.

#2 Dohtimes : $30,000,000 for blank checks with extra large in-the-amount-of boxes.

And my favorite straight line of the day was from The Mad Analyst: 
State Department Officials Spent $630,000 to Get More Facebook “Likes”. Other Recent Expenditures...another $440,000 investing in Monopoly sets. Only $22 on Amazon, and each one comes with a cool $15K in cash!

Cinnamon Rolls to The Mad Analyst!


Thankfully, I made cinnamon rolls last night. It's gonna be a while before we'll have cookies again... :(
_______________________

Well...I guess Keln overturned my coup. :(  I had no idea that omnipotence could be so much fun! I sure am gonna miss it. Anyhow...though the struggle was bloodless...it was not without its casualties...But be strong, guys. I'll figure out how to start baking again as soon as I can. We can get through this. 

_______________________

My favorite NP punchlines:


The TSA is testing the use of bomb-sniffing dogs at airports. They're also testing...

#3 JeffersonFan : Suitcase-rooting pot-bellied pigs.

#2 Oppo: Air traffic control-freaks.

My favorite line was from Bob B.:

The TSA is testing the use of bomb-sniffing dogs at airports. They're also testing...our patience.

Cinnamon Rolls to Bob B.! 

I think you're gonna have to share with The Mad Analyst for now...

________________________

Here's a new line for you to try:



With Keln having overturned my coup, he will punish my treasonous insurrection... 

(Don't forget to keep it PG, fellas :)
Posted by at
Labels: ,

13 comments:

  1. LesJuly 9, 2013 at 12:17 AM

    ...with...the cushions!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Bob in FeenicksJuly 9, 2013 at 2:10 AM

    ...by forcing you to toss your cookies.

    ReplyDelete
  3. can of spamJuly 9, 2013 at 7:48 AM

    ... by forcing you to continue to read all of our so-called punchlines.

    ReplyDelete
  4. can of spamJuly 9, 2013 at 7:49 AM

    ... by openly wearing the Ring he seized from you and subjecting you to the torture of knowing you will never reclaim it from him.

    ReplyDelete
  5. OppoJuly 9, 2013 at 11:54 AM

    ... by forcing you to listen attentively to Obama's next State of the Union address, and report on it.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Bob B.July 9, 2013 at 2:06 PM

    ...by posting guards to keep you in the room until he comes to get you - and NO SINGING (or baking)!

    ReplyDelete
  7. DohtimesJuly 9, 2013 at 4:41 PM

    ...by making you ditch your favorite and entirely functional cookie baking apron for his own personal frilly apron with the sachet pockets and perfume spritzer.

    ReplyDelete
  8. AnonymissJuly 9, 2013 at 7:14 PM

    Wait. Keln's giving me a new frilly apron?? :D

    Oh yeah. That's terrible. I'm not sure how I'll bear that kind of punishment.

    ;)

    ReplyDelete
  9. HarveyJuly 9, 2013 at 8:53 PM

    @ Les - Whoa! Whoa there, crazy man!

    You don't START with the cushions.

    First you ask her how she pleads to the charges of heresy, wait until she professes her innocence, then give her... THE RACK:

    http://www.globalsources.com/gsol/I/Dish-rack/p/sm/1057299759.htm

    Follow the approved protocols, sir!

    ReplyDelete

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)