Nuke the Punchline - Obama Horror Picture Show

Harvey over at IMAO has posted a new straight line of the day, so it is time to choose the winners of the last one:

Politico Leaked Obama’s Secret Strategy for His Second Term. It’s…

#5 Bunkerhillbilly : Melting down the US gold reserves, having it made into statue of himself, then placed on the White House lawn.

#4 RAML:... lie like heil

#3 jw :… try to get the bucket off his head so he can eat more waffles

#2 Apostic :…one of the few things the Chinese didn’t bother copying from Snowden’s laptop.

And my favorite straight line of the day was from walruskkkch: 

Politico Leaked Obama’s Secret Strategy for His Second Term. It’s…Let’s do a Race-war again!

Obama:
It’s astounding;
Time is fleeting;
I’ve still got my goals.
But listen closely…

The Country:
Not for very much longer.

Obama:
How do I keep control?

I remember doing the Race-war
delighting in moments when
The Leftness would hit me

Hillary:
And Sharpton would be calling…

House Black Caucus:
Let’s do a Race-war again.
Let’s do a Race-war again.

Alinsky:
It’s just a jump to the left.

All:
And then we stomp on the right.

Alinsky:
Put your hands in their wallets.

All:
We’ll say equality is the fight.

But it’s the Racist thrust
That will really drive ‘em insane.
Let’s do a Race-war again.
Let’s do a Race-war again.

Hillary:
It was so seamy, but why do you blame me.
does it make a difference?, no, not at all.
We need another diversion, caught using
voyeuristic invention,
then Snowden said, We saw all.

Obama:
so that leaker did let it slip

Hillary:
And he’s now on a Moscow trip.

Obama:
So I gotta find a brand new game.

Hillary:
You’ve maxed out sequestration.

Obama:
So we need a new justification.

House Black Caucus:
Let’s do a Race-war again.
Let’s do a Race-war again.

Trayvon:
Well I was walking down the street
not doing what you think
When a white/hispanic gave me an
evil wink.
That shook-a me up, I was gonna give him a surprise.
But he had a loaded Glock, and by the
devil’s eyes.
He shot at me and I felt the slug.
Race meant nothing, but it will have to do again.

All:
Let’s do a Race-war again.
Let’s do a Race-war again.

Alinsky:
It’s just a jump to the left.

All:
And then we step on the right.

Narrator:
Put your hands in their wallets.

All:
we’ll say equality is the fight.

But it’s racist thrust

That really drives ‘em insane.

Let’s do the Race-war again.
Let’s do the Race-war again.

Also, Kiss up cookies to can of spam for his line: 
Politico Leaked Obama’s Secret Strategy for His Second Term. It’s…… to get the NSA to find out what makes Anonymiss’ cookies so addictive.   (I'll tell you guys. It's the sugar. :)

Raspberry Almond Tarts to walruskkkch
and can of spam!

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So...I'm still here in the nice cool dungeon. I bet you guys are all jealous. :) You're welcome to come help me bake....I have a whole bunch of cookies to make today.

While you're roasting, you should check out If Anyone Ever Thought Charles Barkley Is Stupid... by Keln. It's brilliant as usual. :) 

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My favorite NP punchlines:

California is considering issuing digital license plates called "Smart Plates". Next to get smart...

#3 Apostic: ...will be another half-million residents leaving the state.

#2  can of spam: ... dinner plates, so Michelle Obama can track what and how much you eat.

My favorite line was from Dohtimes:

California is considering issuing digital license plates called "Smart Plates". Next to get smart......high school diplomas, not only digital but they will have audio capability for the graduates who can't read them.

Toffee Trifle to Dohtimes!

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Here's a new line for you to try:

Fake signs on roadway warn speeders of drones. Other warning signs...