Mayor Bloomberg Says the Secret to His Success Is Taking Fewer Bathroom Breaks. His Other Secrets…
#4 Skywatch: Depends.
#3 Bob in Feenicks: …are fear, surprise, ruthless efficiency and an almost fanatical devotion to authoritarianism.
#2 can of spam: … never getting involved in a land war in Asia.
And my favorite straight line of the day was from Oppo and rodney dill:
Mayor Bloomberg Says the Secret to His Success Is Taking Fewer Bathroom Breaks. His Other Secrets… include being oily to bed and oily to rise, [which] makes a man wealthy in slippery lies.
Mayor Bloomberg Says the Secret to His Success Is Taking Fewer Bathroom Breaks. His Other Secrets… include being oily to bed and oily to rise, [which] makes a man wealthy in slippery lies.
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| Cooperation Cookies to Oppo and rodney dill! |
and kiss up cookies for:
Mayor Bloomberg Says the Secret to His Success Is Taking Fewer Bathroom Breaks. His Other Secrets…
walruskkkch: ...a little bit of almond in his chocolate chip cookies. [I may have to try that :) ]
Bob in Feenicks: …low fiber cookies.
rodney dill: …he likes as many nuts in his cookies as he likes in his administration..
walruskkkch: ...a little bit of almond in his chocolate chip cookies. [I may have to try that :) ]
Bob in Feenicks: …low fiber cookies.
rodney dill: …he likes as many nuts in his cookies as he likes in his administration..
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| Kiss up cookies to walruskkkch, Bob in Feenicks and rodney dill! |
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I posted a new Bored Fusion 10: What Do You Get? this morning. Go submit your ideas and then...hi
go see the winners for Bored Fusion 9: What Do You Get? at You've Been Fused: 9. Lots of clever ideas. :)
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My favorite NP punchlines:
Lenders are checking your social media connections to determine your credit score. Next they'll check...
#3 walruskkkch : ...Those things on your "permanent record" from Kindergarten.
#2 Bob in Feenicks : ...your file at the NSA.
My favorite line was from Oppo:
Lenders are checking your social media connections to determine your credit score. Next they'll check... your page view stats, in order to determine your Pinterest rate. (Booooo!)
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| Toffee Trifle to Oppo! |
Here's a new line for you to try:
CA wants to tax Little League and Boy Scouts for being "discriminatory". Their next target...
... the NAACP.
ReplyDelete(HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Who are we kidding!)
I don't know. The title: "The National Association for the Advancement of Colored People" would certainly be deemed discriminatory if used by anybody else. Crazy.
Delete...lipophobic bathroom scales that keep treating overweight people like numbers instead of human beings who are perfectly fine exactly the way they are and you better start accepting that, buddy!
ReplyDelete... "Members Only" jackets.*
ReplyDelete(*I had to look them up on the web to see if they're still in business!)
The CA legislature for not having anyone with working brains in it.
ReplyDelete[And here I thought they wanted to tax them for being Red Sox fans.]
... the League of Women Voters.*
ReplyDelete(*Likewise.)
...golf courses, which while admitting black people for decades have only allowed three to be successful in most peoples lifetimes.
ReplyDelete...the Sun, for being responsible for racism, tan lines on Matt Damon's scrumptious looking pool boy and 100% of the potatoes that keep the Irish around to keep being Irish.
... gays, for unfairly discriminating against members of the opposite gender when choosing romantic interests.
ReplyDelete...the discriminating taste people at Grey Poupon.
ReplyDelete...any sports league that discriminates between winners and losers.
ReplyDelete...aunt jemima pancakes
ReplyDelete