Harvey over at IMAO has posted a new straight line of the day, so it is time to choose the winners of the last one:
In Atlanta, a Woman Claimed her E-Cigarette Exploded and Shot Flames Across the Room. Also Revealed to Be a Dangerously Defective Product…
(source)
#4 Burt: …voting machines. With improper usage they can eliminate your future.
#3 Bob in Feenicks: …the John Kerry Brain Griddle. -For those special moments you want seared in your memory.
And my favorite straight line of the day was from Bob B.:
In Atlanta, a Woman Claimed her E-Cigarette Exploded and Shot Flames Across the Room. Also Revealed to Be a Dangerously Defective Product…Obama’s Teleprompter – it makes him say such stupid things!
In Atlanta, a Woman Claimed her E-Cigarette Exploded and Shot Flames Across the Room. Also Revealed to Be a Dangerously Defective Product…Obama’s Teleprompter – it makes him say such stupid things!
 |
| Cookies to Bob B.! |
and today's kiss up cookies to:
In Atlanta, a Woman Claimed her E-Cigarette Exploded and Shot Flames Across the Room. Also Revealed to Be a Dangerously Defective Product…
(I BETTER not hear about you guys eating anybody else's cookies!)
walruskkkch: Cookies not baked by Anonymiss
rodney dill: Store bought cookies (‘specially if Anonymiss finds out)(I BETTER not hear about you guys eating anybody else's cookies!)
 |
| Kiss up cookies to walruskkkch and rodney dill! |
_______________________
The winners for Bored Fusion 14: Lucky Shot have been posted at You've Been Fused: 14.
Go and make a suggestion for the title of our new Bored Fusion 15: Covers Covered. Wink :)
_______________________
My favorite NP punchlines:
Schools are sending "fat letters" to parents about their overweight children. Next they'll send...
#3 walruskkkch :...Suede denim secret police - they'll come for your over-weight niece.
My favorite line was from Harvey:
Schools are sending "fat letters" to parents about their overweight children. Next they'll send...Nothing... because the administrators' fingers are too fat to type on a standard keyboard.
 |
| Toffee Trifle to Harvey! |
Here's a new line for you to try:
John Kerry has issued an ultimatum to Assad: Turn in Chemical weapons in one week or America will launch "an unbelievably small and limited effort" to punish him. Huh. When that doesn't work...
These attempts to keep me at second place are clearly racist.
ReplyDelete... they'll short-sheet his bed and TP his front lawn.
ReplyDelete...Obama will make an even LESS believably small and limited effort.
ReplyDeleteAlso "Yay! Toffee Trifle!"
Fangbeer - stop whining and eat your "separate but equal" cookies :-P
...Obama will be forced to deploy the comfy chair!
ReplyDeleteWe'll send Katie Couric for a hard hitting interview.
ReplyDeleteObama will swap wives for a week.
They will put this on his permanent record.
shoot, I'm all out of ideas.
...Syria will be placed in double secret probation. (for and extremely short period of time)
ReplyDeleteSpeaking of racist:
ReplyDeleteWhen the extremely small and limited effort doesn't work, they're going to use the Blazing Saddles Gambit
http://patdollard.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/obamaCHOKE.jpg
Don't move or...
Hold it, men. He's not bluffing.
Delete...there's always the Spanish Inquisition, because NOBODY expects that.
ReplyDelete...a strongly worded letter. Well, not too strongly worded, we don't want to hurt his feelings.
ReplyDelete...try bribing him with cookies.
...he will send Assad nekkid pics of himself, or even more harshly, nekkid pics of one of those purple haired troll dolls if small and limited still doesn't work.
ReplyDelete...he will threaten to wear brown shoes with his tuxedo at the next dinner he attends to honor Assad.
...Kerry will claim a battle sustained paper cut and put himself in for the Presidential Medal of Freedom.
ReplyDelete...initiate a naval blockade using Isabel while taunting them a second time.
ReplyDeleteReference Link -
Deletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9V7zbWNznbs
... "we will fight them [as long as they're] on the beaches."
ReplyDelete... he'll say, "Mr. Assad, tear down this Walid."
... we'll send in the summer soldier and the sunshine patriot!
ReplyDelete... all of you stop being racist at Fangbeer!
ReplyDelete...he will pull out another version of his 57 varieties of the truth.
ReplyDelete