Nuke the Punchline - Walk the Plank! uh...Profligately

Harvey over at IMAO has posted a new straight line of the day, so it is time to choose the winners of the last one:

President Obama Said “Raising the Debt Ceiling Does Not Promote Profligacy”…

#5 Christopher Robin:… and besides, what a man or a woman does in the privacy of their own home should not be an issue. The agencies will still keep track of how often one profligates though to make sure there is no profligation gap and so that others will not be forced to go to bed without profligating.

#4 Kenny J: …wait, that can’t be a word…the teleprompter’s acting up…i must have meant to say “responsibility”…yeah, raising the debt ceiling does not promote responsibility by the government…

#3 FormerHostage: …to which Conservatives replied, “You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

#2 RAML :..And then he looked very strangely at the teleprompter, shrugged his shoulders and wandered off.

And my favorite straight line of the day was from Bob in Feenicks:

President Obama Said “Raising the Debt Ceiling Does Not Promote Profligacy”…Biden said, “Aaarrr! It be talk like a Profligate Day.” 

 Cookies to Bob in Feenicks!

and today's best kiss uppers were FormerHostage and walruskkkch:

President Obama Said “Raising the Debt Ceiling Does Not Promote Profligacy”…

FormerHostage:…and store-bought cookies are just as good as homemade. [blasphemy!]

walruskkkch: ...but it just might mean more cookies from Anonymiss. [oh really? Huh!]

Kiss up cookies to 
FormerHostage & walruskkkch !

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I posted the winners for Bored Fusion 19: Crazy Canoes at You've Been Fused: 19. Go see if you won! Then get clever and write a title for the new Bored Fusion 20: Cookie Companion. I can't wait to see your ideas :) 

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My favorite NP punchlines:

Brazilian hackers confuse NASA for the NSA in a revenge attack. Next to be confused...

#3 Steve H :...POTUS with POTTY

#2 Bob B. :....are anti-Second Amendment protesters picketing all the shooters that belong to the NBA.

My favorite line was from Oppo:

Brazilian hackers confuse NASA for the NSA in a revenge attack. Next to be confused...Osama's marine corpse and Obama's Marine Corps.

and kiss up cookies to Rodney Dill:

Brazilian hackers confuse NASA for the NSA in a revenge attack. Next to be confused...Cookie Walruses with Kookie Walruses  *and*
...Chocolate Chip Oatmeal Cookies with Raisin Oatmeal Cookies. [big mistake. BIG mistake]

Toffee Trifle to Oppo
and Rodney Dill!

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Here's a new line for you to try:

A highschool student was forced to remove his Duck Dynasty T-shirt as it was deemed "threatening". Also threatening...