Nuke the Punchline - So Long King Bow-see!

Harvey over at IMAO has posted a new straight line of the day, so it is time to choose the winners of the last one:

In California, a “Gargantuan” Tortoise Was Fatally Struck After Wandering onto I-10. Why Did the Tortoise Try to Cross the Road?

#5 Oppo: ...Oh, it died. Then what difference, at this point, does it make?
.
#4 Bob B....To escape from rabid environmentalists who were trying to “protect” him out of existence.

#3 Jimmy: ...He was using Apple Maps and they were wrong.

#2 walruskkkch:...In California? It was probably a cross-dressing, trans-species Chicken.

And my favorite straight line of the day was from can of spam:

In California, a “Gargantuan” Tortoise Was Fatally Struck After Wandering onto I-10. Why Did the Tortoise Try to Cross the Road? Some ^%#ing Italian plumber jumped on its back and sent it shooting off in that direction.

 Cookies to can of spam!

and today's best kiss uppers were can of spam and walruskkkch:

In California, a “Gargantuan” Tortoise Was Fatally Struck After Wandering onto I-10. Why Did the Tortoise Try to Cross the Road?

walruskkkch: There was a pile of warm, delicious Anonymiss cookies on the other side.
can of spam: He saw a plate of cookies on the other side.

Kiss up cookies to can of spam
and walruskkkch!

________________________

My favorite lines from yesterday:

If Oreos are more addictive than cocaine, then...

#3 Oppo.:... everyone in America is in recovery.
Yay! Where are our disability benefits?

#2 walruskkkch:...Milk is considered paraphernalia

and my favorite line was from Dohtimes:

If Oreos are more addictive than cocaine, then...there is no hope, absolutely no hope. For walrus.

Cookies to Dohtimes!

The best NP kisser uppers: walruskkkch, can of spam & Bob B.

If Oreos are more addictive than cocaine, then...

Bob B.:...that explains why I am compelled to seek Anonymiss cookies... :)
can of spam:.. Anonymiss' cookies must be patently illegal. [yep. I make COOKIES. Oreos are crackers masquerading as cookies]
walruskkkch:Anonymiss is looking at least at 25 to life.  [Nobody better squeal on me :)]

Kiss up Cookies to walruskkkch,
can of spam and Bob B.!

________________________

Here's a new line for you to try:

States like Florida have "Food Stamp Recruiters" who have a quota to sign up 150 new recipients per month. Other quotas...