Nuke the Punchline - Hmm. Let's Call 'Em...

Harvey over at IMAO has posted a new straight line of the day, so it is time to choose the winners of the last one:

The UN has a plan to defend Earth from asteroids…

#5 rodney dill: …but first they have to obtain the Illudium pu-36 Explosive Space Modulator.

#4 FredKey: ...Protective barrier over Earth formed by orbiting pages from the Affordable Healthcare Act. Downside: Never see the sun again.

#3 can of spam:… by giving asteroids veto power in the Security Council.

#2 walruskkkch:  you get this one little ship that fires really fast at all the incoming asteroids, but it looks a little sketchy.

And my favorite straight line of the day was from Oppo:

The UN has a plan to defend Earth from asteroids… by calling asteroids “UN resolutions.” Everyone knows they have no impact.

 Cookies to Oppo!

and today's best kiss uppers were  can of spam and walruskkkch:

The UN has a plan to defend Earth from asteroids…

can of spam: … which involves telling the Cookie Monster (or a slightly lesser-known Walrus) that the asteroids were made by Anonymiss.

walruskkkch:. . .by its usual method, bribery. This time with Anonymiss cookies.

Kiss up Cookies to can of spam
and walruskkkch!

____________________

My favorite line from yesterday was from rodney dill:

When President Obama saw a study showing that left-handed people, like himself, are more likely to be schizophrenic he...was beside himself with anger.

Cookies to rodney dill. Again!

Here's a new line for you to try:

Now that the obesity rate in Mexico exceeds that of the United States, Michelle Obama...