Friday, November 22, 2013

Nuke the Punchline - "Your Winnings, Sir"

Harvey over at IMAO has posted a new straight line of the day, so it is time to choose the winners of the last one:

A New Report Shows the Government Faked Unemployment Data Just Before the 2012 Elections. Also Being Faked…


#5 FormerHostage: …sincerity.

#4 Bob in Feenicks.:…Nancy Pelosi’s face. Looking at her real one will turn you to stone.

#3 Bob B.:…is any claim that Obama is the smartest person in the room, even an otherwise empty one.

#2 walruskkkch: ...Pro wrestling. Seriously. It’s a fact.

And my favorite straight lines of the day were from CrabbyOldBat:

A New Report Shows the Government Faked Unemployment Data Just Before the 2012 Elections. Also Being Faked. . . “concern” that a few low-level employees acting without authorization could, through one isolated and anomalous incident, besmirch the reputation of an otherwise upright, rule-abiding, wholly non-partisan and impartial Census Bureau. “I am shocked — shocked!— to find that fakery is going on here!”

 Cookies to CrabbyOldBat!

and today's best kiss uppers were FormerHostage, walruskkkch and RAML:

A New Report Shows the Government Faked Unemployment Data Just Before the 2012 Elections. Also Being Faked…

FormerHostage: …the preference of store-bought cookies over homebaked. [That would *have* to be faked :)]

walruskkkch: ...are Anonymiss cookies, and they stink! [Who's faking my cookies? Let me at 'em! :P ]

RAML: ...The answer of course would be Anonymiss cookies. Of course the government took a good shot at it with it’s *you didn’t do that* and his upping the energy costs so much that everybody esp new businesses had to struggle . Now he’s upping her insurance cost or just canceling it completely. So what’s next? [It's true. Currently uninsured :(]


Kiss up Cookies to FormerHostage,
walruskkkch and RAML!
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My favorite line yesterday was from Bob B.:

(credit: Walt Hunter/CBS3)
In Philadelphia, a man stole a FedEx truck and clipped several parked cars as the police chased him. Why did he want a FedEx truck?   When you absolutely, positively have to do time...

Kiss Up Cookies to can of spam:


Because he was trying to hijack a massive shipment of cookies to can of spam. [By the way, does walruskkkch have an alibi?]

  
Cookies to Bob B.
and Kiss Up Cookies to can of spam!

____________________

Here's a new line for you to try: