President Obama's Cold Holiday Secret - Revealed!

Traditionally, the Obama family celebrates the holiday season in the President's native state of Hawaii. He has to go there because it's the only state in the union where there are military stationed (for his Christmas Day photo op) and he can also golf every day in December.

Though the media wants us to believe 2013 was no different, they are lying.

He spent the holidays in Wisconsin.

And I can prove it.

How can I be sure that the our Fearless Leader decked the halls in the Dairy state?

Well, I live here myself. And I know a few things:

Though the population of Wisconsin is less than half of that of Illinois, it still contains a LOT of uncles...most of whom our president has never met. Over the holidays he just stayed with one of them.

All of the years of warm sun and golf for Christmas has made him want...no yearn....nay...DESERVE a White Christmas.  What. Are you thinking he isn't entitled to a white Christmas just like everyone else? Racist.

I got a picture of his car. Because no one was supposed to know he was here, he had to try to be inconspicuous...

But I could tell it was his.

By the license plate:

But *especially* by where I saw it:

I guess he really DOES think he is FDR