Noah Countability

There seems to be much criticism of Darren Aronofsky’s movie “Noah” from anybody who has read, or even heard of the Old Testament. It has been condemned on many fronts — not the least of which is its heavy-handed promotion of radical environmentalism. I mean, did they really have to invent an “Algorizeth” character who puts everybody to sleep by droning on while showing them armloads of boring scrolls?    

To be honest, I have not seen the “biblically-inspired” fantasy film, but I understand that in some respects it has been compared favorably to such modern historical epics as “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen,” and the 2003 live action adaptation of “The Cat in the Hat.” Come to think of it, I haven’t watched those movies, either. Some say that I’ve missed out. And by “some,” I mean my 6-year-old grandson, whom I have actually seen deliberately, repeatedly touch a live electric fence.

In any case, I’m withholding judgment on the film until I see it, which I may get around to, if I happen to live as long as Methuselah. Still, I can’t help but be a little suspicious of its attempt to reflect any semblance to scriptural narrative when I see teaser posters like this: 

And, “artistic license,” my patootie — I hear that the scene where Tubal-cain plays “Nearer, My God to Thee” on a primitive sousaphone as the ark disappears beneath the surf just pushes it over the top on the untenability meter.