Nuke the Punchline - Using Assault Knives?

Harvey over at IMAO has posted a new straight line of the day. You should go check it out! My favorites from the last one are :

The White House Is Getting Ready for Thanksgiving By…

Taking an Indian to Lunch. Cookies to Burt for the link!

Honorable Mention to: 

walruskkkch: ...outlawing any good thoughts about Pilgrims..

#5 Jack:....Recycling all those 2012 DNC convention “Thank You” posters, so that the unemployed and the homeless can silently express their incredible gratitude for the bowl of gruel and the gobbet of minced, processed, and formed turkey product they’ve received from His Incredibly Awesome Awesomeness.

#4 Gumbeaux: … pardoning two turkeys this year, Biden and Gruber.

#3 Bob B.: …mandating that all turkey dinners become tofurkey dinners by 2025.

#2 rodney dill: ...convening a turkey death panel.

And my favorite straight line of the day was from Dohtimes: 

The White House Is Getting Ready for Thanksgiving By…carving up the Constitution and serving us turkeys all the trimmings.

Cookies to Dohtimes!

...and we can't forget Kiss up Cookies :) 

The White House Is Getting Ready for Thanksgiving By…

Steve H:… executing a Presidential Pardon for walnuts. [Ugh. They are villainous :P]

walruskkkch:...promising Anonymiss free healthcare for some cookies. [I'd prefer a waiver... :) ]

rodney dill: …banning walnuts from Thanksgiving stuffing [Though I can see why that sounds like a good idea, I think if you wanna ruin your stuffing with crazy expensive toxic crumbles, go right ahead. I just choose not to EAT it. ICK! :)] 

Nucking Futs: … preparing the “cookie blessing”, since a Christian Prayer might cause Nobama’s head to explode. [!]

Kiss Up Cookies to walruskkkch,

Steve H, rodney dill and Nucking Futs!

The Musings of Anonymiss: 

I didn't dust this one, so be warned. You may get something in your eye...