Rubio's Luxury Speedboat Scandal Grows

So, we all know Marco Rubio is running for President. Currently, he is a United States Senator from Florida. Miami is his home town.

This is what he looks like:
 

The New York Times, in keeping with their tradition of top-notch journalism, has informed us that Rubio used part of a book advance to buy a "luxury speedboat."

This is what his "luxury speedboat" looks like:


There is someone else, quite famous, also from Miami, who also has a VERY similar luxury speedboat.
That speedboat looks like this:

Who is that someone?
I'll tell you who: Dexter Morgan.

He looks like this:


Notice the similar facial features. Give Dexter a shave, and he'd be a dead ringer for Marco Rubio.

So, Miami home, boat, remarkably similar facial features. I'm left with only one possible explanation, and it is frightening to even contemplate:

MARCO RUBIO IS THE BAY HARBOR BUTCHER!!!

How can the police have missed this? How is it that it takes a lowly blogger over a thousand miles away to see what should be right in front of their faces?

Well, I'm sure they will take swift action to bring this heinous killer into custody, and sadly, it spells DOOM for the Rubio campaign, though he COULD run on the idea that though he's one himself, he is tough on violent criminals, and his Code will allow him to keep the people of the United States just as safe as he kept the people of Miami.

If he were to get the nomination and run against Hilary! he could at least claim his felonies were altruistic. So, maybe the DOOM is premature.

Hope springs eternal.