If You Give a President a Pencil

If you give a President a pencil, he’s going to want a pen.


And then he’ll want a phone.


He’ll want to order a lot of old laws changed and new laws made, so you’ll have to remind him he can’t do that.


And that will make him sad.

So he’ll call up some of his contributors and ask for more money.


Then he’ll probably want to play golf.


You’ll need to carry his golf clubs and teleprompter, and he’ll want to ride his bike to the course so make sure he wears his helmet!


He’ll want to dance while golfing, and you should probably let him win.


After golfing he will be tired and want to go on vacation.


He’ll call his helicopter so he can get back home quickly, but once in the air he’ll want to show you his jet.


It isn’t really his own jet, but don’t mention this because that way madness lies.


His family will take a different jet but you will all arrive on the same day.


And that will make him sad.


Be sure to pick up his dog when it’s flight gets there later!


He’ll want to run along the beach and take selfies with his friends.


Then he’ll want to alienate our allies and scare our people by cozening up to our enemies.


Once all the brouhaha dies down, you should make him sign a promise not to do that again!


And when you do... 


he’ll want you to give him a pencil!

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I may update this one day with artwork, but in the meantime... oh well!